I've been communicating with my new brother in law and he is not confident. My sister equated us and feared one may drive the other to suicide. He seems like my laziest, cheapest buzz seeking nature without any creative pursuit. At least I have been able to help advise him through my experience with game emulator devices.
What I seek to impart to this man, if anything, is belief in oneself and the interest level to figure things out for yourself. Like "Who am I, where am I, what is going on and how do I figure out how I fit in that and what to do? Then the balls to follow through on something, despite any opposition." Just being yourself, standing for what you believe in, leaving no doubt in your mind whether you have lived. If we add not hurting others to that, you're doing pretty well.
A funny story happened. I text my mom at strange times because she is awake then and helps me with a chore. I accidentally texted my sister instead this morning. Then, when I was misunderstanding her this afternoon, she clued me in way too late like everyone else, I told her that I am most like Don Quixote: always misunderstanding and misunderstood. I reminded her of the wrong person text this morning and she found it funny. Is what I do so odd that nobody understands it? Do I communicate in such a strange way that nobody ever wants to know about what I'm saying? I made a playlist "like me" with 1920s video from German expressionist cinema (arty stuff) and Buster Keaton (absurd physical comedy) and thought it an admirable reading of myself, considering I would be substituting music from other sources. I've identified myself to others using Don Quixote and the Cheshire cat as prime examples. The Cheshire cat shows up all kinds of places and says strange things. Those 2 combined encapsulates the alienation I feel from this hell. Synthetic though it may be, hell it is for sure.
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